Feeling into Emotional Pain

As I sit here listening to the remastered Beatles album, Magical Mystery Tour (amazing!), I feel a surplus of emotion arising. Yeah, I said it! Emotion!!!

What can I say, the Beatles really stir it up in me!

I get it, we are not used to talking about our feelings! The norm today is to hide any and all feelings with our obsession with pleasure which we believe is a delightful remedy to our pain. Whether it be night`s out on the town, material attainment (shopaholic), food, sex, entertainment, drugs etc., we are continually seeking relief through outside circumstances. This is neither remedy nor can it provide a sense of inner peace because repressed emotions only serve to cause negativity and constriction in one`s body and life. If one desires to cultivate a sense of calm, well-being and ease, one must succumb to the many feelings that arise, with compassion.

Since we've never done it before it can be quite uncomfortable feeling into the feelings - I describe them as butterflies in my stomach or a feeling of falling. This has shown up for me as anxiety but mostly fear that is felt specifically in the solar plexus region or 3rd Chakra. Also known as a 'gut feeling'.  We are all intuitive beings and we only need to slow down and stay clean long enough to tap in. By honoring the body in this way we may reintegrate fragments of ourself that we had previously rejected out of shame and fear. Is this the kind of vibration you want to be on! Please noooo!!!

Embrace and be present with the darker states. Feel them, really FEEL THEM!

People everywhere are doing whatever they can to hide how they truly feel, from others but mostly from themselves! Denial is a like a thick fog. In the spiritual community it has become common place to act as if one is above negativity. As if we are not human. Meditation and excessive focus on 'being positive' are at times, prime examples. Not to mention the shaming and blaming that goes on in the spiritual community! The blame is put on themselves and others for 'creating' their suffering and grievances … This is simply emotional abuse masquerading as spirituality!!!

If you are listening to all the advice out there by the so-called spiritual gurus and they tell you to simply try being 'positive' when there are obvious negative emotions, you are only running from the truth if you take that advice. This is just yet another form of escape.

Our mind will try everything to stay in control. Connecting with your heart is going to be key! Heart opening exercises to follow along with more about this!

For me, when I'm scared or sad, I remember how good a hug feels and just go ahead and give myself one! We an love and nuture ourselves - ever given yourself a hug!? I'm serious, it feels nice!

Apparently people experience over 1000 different emotions each day! According to Carl Jung we stop growing emotionally after trauma is repressed unless we re-experience it willingly.

This is a super helpful chart when you're not sure how you're feeling at any given moment...

There are also many so-called healers out there teaching meditation, yoga, spirituality and all of the above, but they put on a giant facade that they are free of emotional issues. We have all experienced some form of pain or trauma in our lives … yes some to a greater or lesser degree than others, but pain is normal and a huge part of our experience here as human beings! A true healer has been through it themselves and speaks from experiential knowledge. There is an understanding and a patience that comes with experience and this is exactly the kind of support we need to heal. Practical approaches to combat denial of one's shadows are provided and eventual integration and wholeness follows.

Yes the process may be supported and even accelerated by certain practices like sitting in silent mediation all day, doing a long fast or practicing yoga or breathing exercises like pranayama. It is a completely different animal however to observe and become one with our feelings in our day to day lives. Accept the feelings as part of yourself. Become inquisitive. Ask yourself: What is it that I truly feel at the moment? You may decide to google 'emotion chart' to assist with this question.

We do not face these emotions head on, due to fear and a self protection mechanism that allows us to tune out when in a painful situation. This was learned during childhood as we were not yet equipped emotionally to handle this pain. Because of this many of us are operating at an emotional intelligence of a teenager or younger!

When feelings surface we could also ask, 'What is this feeling trying to reveal to me about myself' … 'What is the root of this feeling'… 'Was there something that was experienced in the past that is causing me to react to the current situation in this way' … 'What is it that I need to feel better' … 'Are there other feelings around this that I am not aware of?'

These questions point us to the root of the feelings. The deep pain is revealed. This is the pain responsible for all dependencies and addictions. While these patterns and programming take time to break, the work is necessary and you will always come out happier on the other side! Mind, body and spirit are purified. Promise!!!

Since healing these emotional traumas means you must allow yourself to completely feel what is coming up for you, having an open heart is the focus. Be open to the healing! Let the emotions flow right up and out of you once and for all!

Find ways to open your heart Chakra so you may begin to feel any deeply rooted pain. Try rose quartz crystals, rose essential oil, yoga poses like Cobra (heart openers) and the visualization of a pink swirling light in the heart area. I also set the intention, 'I'm living with an open heart' prior to my daily yoga nidra practice which has helped tremendously. (Lately, I like to add on to that intention … 'and practicing non-judgement toward myself + others.' - it’s a good one!)

A lot of people in our community are experimenting with particular plant medicines to support this important work primarily with the psychedelics like Ayahuasca, Kambo and Bufo for example. Oh! And let's not forget the wonderful psilocybin mushroom!

Many people in my personal life have had profound experiences that connected them deeply to truth and love. For the most part though, grounding into the present moment with loving awareness is the most important focus.

Whatever your approach, just please do the work, it works if you work it and you're worth it!!!

For a while I would find myself spontaneously experiencing painful emotions from my past that were once repressed. I would break out into tears while re-experiencing it. They were often short bursts that move through relatively quickly. I knew my detoxification efforts brought these on as emotions are stores deep in our cellular memory and have to be actively sought out for healing or else they subtly effort our entire energy field. (Aura.) There is always an elated feeling once the dark feeling passes - so stay strong to reap the ample rewards!

Emotions are simply run by the law of impermanence. Everything that arises eventually passes away. Feelings come and go and for this reason we can be at peace with them all.

I know, it can be scary to allow them to come on. The programming always said that you are weak if you cry. People will laugh at you, and maybe even leave your life! That could not be further from the truth! This is in fact, TRUE power. One who can own their experience and then express raw emotions exudes strength like none ever! I especially feel this way about a man who can cry and be up front about it. What has society done to us!? Are we supposed to be robots now too! I know we love our technology but come on now.

We have been taught to believe that vulnerability equals inferiority and weakness. We see other's facade and believe they are better than us. Why are we even comparing! Just be yourself! You are amazing and if people don’t see that, then they are not your people!!! Wait for your soul tribe - they are those who love and support you unconditionally and they find you if you are just yourself... all we need to do is remain the light within all the inevitable darkness.
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I personally don't care what anyone thinks. If I want to express a darker emotion like fear or sadness, I will! I think they might just decide to try it too! Let's lead the way for authenticity huh!!?
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Being fully ourselves frees us up to SO much... the best part being that it attracts those to you who will truly love you, exactly as you are! Unconditionally.
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May you be love.
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Jin xo